Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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