if you like me you must not know who I am
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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