He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
