he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
