Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
