she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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