i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
