Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize