Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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