Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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