That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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