how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
