He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
