Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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