I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
