i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
