I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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