you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
