Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
