$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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