11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize