Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
