So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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