Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
