I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
