last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
