My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
is wine microwaveable?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
