Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
wow bdsm is so cute
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