i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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