Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
