Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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