yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
