good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
