id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
