I heard we made out
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
