I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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