Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
