if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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