Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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