I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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