My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
