I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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