Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
