i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
