good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
