Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
