dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
do herpes really smell.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
