and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
The air taste purple.
Randomize
