Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
