I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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