How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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