When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
