Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
