We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
