i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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