so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
