You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize