Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
