This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
