Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
