I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
