you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think my moral compass just broke
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
