He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
