So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
