we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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