as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My breasts were aching with rage.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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