I love black thongs
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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