What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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