Kiss
Puke
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize