hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
